Clearing the mind

[river]

River sat down on one of the random seats in the commons area. She was having a hard time blocking thoughts from other people on the ship. It bothered her sometimes when she couldn't clear her mind it also scared her. She was trying to deal with it on her own though. She knew what her brother would do and that wasn't something that she wanted she simply wanted to be able to think clearly with out medication or anything like that. River tried to get her mind to run through the equations and formulas that she knew so well.

She could hear Wash's thoughts run through the ship. He was a ghost on the ship that everyone was aware of and no one spoke of to often. She loved Wash he was the only male on the ship that treated her like she was normal. He could always get her to smile.

"I am a leaf on the wind watch how I soar" said River to herself.

[Haven Tam]

Haven followed River a few moments later. She had walked down the hall, listening in on Bella and Daniel for a few moments. They both seemed shy, but hit it off. She left after she heard about Bella being raped, probably why she was such a mellow girl. But that didn’t matter, Haven thought she seemed nice. She would press her more later.

Skipping into the commons, she hummed a tune she had heard on Ezra when hanging about the ship. She saw her aunt and knew that she was probably swamped by memories. Going next to her, she sat and hugged River. “Wash was a great man wasn’t he?” Haven loved to hear stories about her uncle that she never got to meet and the old Shepherd. Though she never met them, they would always be a part of Haven’s life.

[river]

River hugged her niece back. She knew her niece had a knack for giving her something to focus on and it was nice.

"Yes Wash was a great man" said River "He always was funny, nice, open-minded, brave, strong, smart. He could thread a needle with this ship. He is still here even if just in spirit. The dinosaurs on the helm, his floral shirts, his jokes. Shepherd Book is still here too. Shepherd Book was wisdom, understanding, kindness, a mystery even though he would never say that he is."

River could remember everything about both Book and Wash. They were so kind to her when she was insane and then Book never got to see her like she was now and that sometimes hurt. She wanted to apologize for the thing with his hair.

"Shepherd Book once told Mal that you could survive from here to judgement day on protein if you had enough rosemary. Wash was always saying things that could cheer anyone up or he'd be playing with his dinosaurs. He could rig the waves from Inara to Mal so that everyone could watch. He liked to hear about how I beat Jayne up" said River

River felt bad for what she did to Jayne even if it wasn't entirely her own fault. She'd also stabbed Jayne though and River knew that it had left a scar.

[Haven Tam]

Haven smiled. She laid her head on River’s shoulder as she listened to her. River was the only one really open enough to talk about them. Zoe was too hurt and Mal would walk away. It was nice hearing it form River though, because of the Alliance, she always knew more then the others. While it could be a curse, it was nice at times. But she hated it when her aunt hurt from what they did.

“Do-do you think that maybe the reason no on will talk is to not upset me and Daniel?” She often thought that as her parent’s would change the subject when it was brought up. Also her cousin was another factor in it all. Sighing, she wished the same joy could come back to Serenity.

[river]

"It's not because we're afraid of upsetting you it's just that for some of us the pain runs deeper, Zoe still hurts from loosing Wash, she just can't bring herself to the point of speaking about it. She would rather bear the pain alone. Mal won't speak on it for the fear of hurting Zoe and he to misses Wash, he won't ever admit it but he misses Shepherd Book to. Simon won't speak on the matter of Shepherd Book because he feels that he could've done something more to help him." said River

River thought about Shepherd Book, she knew if she hadn't had that attack on Beaumonde and they hadn't gone to Haven he would still be here.

"Kaylee it's just all around painful to her, she and Wash were quite the team between the helm and the engine room. Plus when your father would mess up with Kaylee, Wash always told Kaylee if he wasn't married he would take her up into his arms in a manly fashion because she was pretty." said River

River grinned a little at the thought of her brother trying to impress Kaylee. Their first meeting all the way until Miranda, Simon was always messing up with Kaylee.

"Some of the time they don't speak about Book and Wash because they are afraid that it might set me off. It is partially my fault that they are gone now but no one blames me for it." said River.

[Haven Tam]

Haven wished she could wash everyone’s pain away. It was so long ago, but it always seemed so much earlier because everyone was always so sad. Haven knew why her parent’s named her Haven. It was because that was the last place that everyone was together alive-where Book took his last breath. “Mal always pretends to be so strong for everyone, but sometimes he has to realize that he is just human too.”

Laughing, Daniel currently reminded her of her parents. “You think Daniel and Bella will be like mom and dad?” Haven had an inkling they would. They already seemed to hit it off, even if they themselves couldn’t tell.

Staring at River, she hugged her again. “River, non of this is your fault. It’s the Alliance. They are the ones who set off this chain reaction. They are the ones who made Book and Wash die.” She brushed River’s hair out of her face. It hurt when Haven saw River this way-blaming herself for things she could not control. “Don’t ever think it is.”

[river]

"Daniel and Bella are well on their way to being like your parents." said River

River hugged her niece. Haven didn't seem to understand that River wanted to go to that school. She wanted a challenge she couldn't be in the normal schools because she was to smart for them. At first it was great for her they challenged her made her work hard, then things changed they messed with her mind. They started doing things to her and the other students that made them different. They drove River crazy but made her a psychic and a weapon. River was their best pupil.

"Haven it's partially my fault. I wanted to go to that school, I wanted a challenge, normal schools couldn't give me that" said River "I could make Simon look like the idiot child"

[Simon Tam]

"You do make me look like an idiot child. well, when you want to."
Simon stuck his head through the door and walked in, taking a glasf and filling it with water, he took a sip from it before saying,
"And Daniel and that Arabella girl seem to be getting on well, dont they?" he asked, well aware that his sister would catch on to what he meant, and began to wonder if she already knew what was going on.

[Haven Tam]

Haven had known River wanted to go but she still hurt for her at times. Before she could say anything though, her father came in. “Hey daddy.” Haven was still ‘daddy’s little girl’. Giggling, she exchanged a look with her aunt before trying to hide her smile. “Anyone could make you look like an idiot child if they tried hard enough. Just throw mom into the equation.”

Speaking of her mother and father, Daniel and Bella were on their way to being like that. “Me and River were just discussion that actually.” Staring at her father, she tilted her head. “They’re kind of like you and mom in your early days.” Haven got up and peered down the hall to see if he was still in the doorway, cause she’d be able to make out that speck. But, she didn’t see him. Grinning, Haven went and sat back down beside her aunt.

[river]

River looked at her brother and grinned. She knew what was going on and she knew Simon figured she knew.

"I used to make you look like the idiot child all the time" said River

River looked at Haven and grinned once more. River loved her brother, he'd done so much for her.

[Dave Cassidy]

Dave came thundering through the hatch, practically diving through, with his Rifle in his hand, he panted "Mal's been taken!" before running back out to the cargo bay.

[out- cargo bay]

[Haven Tam]

Haven sat up, her voice taken away. She knew something was up with Mal, but nobody listend. Looking between River and her father, she looked panicked. "Daddy...is-is he going ot be ok?" Haven immediately went into panic mode. The capatain was like her uncle after all. Everyone was like family to her. Hurt, she stood up and paced.

Her parents hated her going out planetside to search for jobs, so she knew that wasn't going to happen.

[river]

River stood up from her seat. She looked at Simon.

"He's in serious trouble" said River

River didn't like what was going on. She knew that there were alliance people from the academy planetside. River looked at her brother again.

"Simon there are people from the academy planetside" said River

She didn't like the thought of going back on to the planet. She didn't want to have to face the academy again. She was terrified of them. The thought of them brought tears to her eyes. She pushed them away and then went back to focusing on the problem.

"Simon I don't want to go back there" said River "They'll start it over again"

[Haven Tam]

Haven was so confused. THis was osmething for her father and autn ot discuss. As tears filled her eyes, she hugged them both. "I'm gonna find Daniel-I saw him and Bella pass by." Her voice was low and scaed. RIght now, her and her brother needed to be together as the adults went searching for Mal.

[out-kitchen]

[river]

River panicked and then sat down and drew her knees to her chest. She didn't want to face the Alliance Academy again. They had hurt her.

"Two by two hands of blue" said River quietly tears rolling down her face.